My friend and mentor Tammy passed away on Saturday. A week ago, we were laughing and joking and having fun together. She got sick on Tuesday and Saturday she was gone - 4 days. So fast ... completely unexpected ... completely devastating. My heart is broken and I can only imagine how her family is feeling. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to spend some time with her and them before she left.
Tammy was the driving force in helping me become the Medium I am today. She was there every step of the way from the very beginning of my Mediumship training when I was struggling to believe that I had this gift, to helping me interpret the messages that I receive, to always reminding me to let go and let Spirit do the work. She believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. Who is going to answer all my questions now?
What I know for sure is that she is going to do great things in the Spirit world. She will be in touch with all of us as soon as she is able from the other side. I know she will. I thought that knowing that would make the whole situation easier to handle but what I learned is that while that is a comfort, it still doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye.
What else did I learn? A whole lot of things. The old cliché that "life is too short" really is true. She was gone in 4 days. I could be gone tomorrow. "Live for Today - Tomorrow may never come" , "Be in the present - live for now for it is the only time you have" means so much more today as I write this. Here's what else I've been thinking: I'm no longer going to think that I will be happy:
- When I get this task done;
- When I lose all this extra weight;
- When I have more money;
- When I get to retire and do my Mediumship full time;
- When all my issues are solved; and
- When .... All the other things that I say to myself to postpone or not allow myself to be happy today.
From now on, no matter what, I'm going to do all I can to be happy with TODAY. Regardless of what is going on or what happens. "This too shall pass" will become my new mantra when things don't go exactly the way I had envisioned. But I can still be:
- Happy that today is a new day and I'm still here;
- Happy that I'm better than I was yesterday and will be even better tomorrow;
- Happy that the sun is still shining even if there are clouds in the sky;
- Happy that my heart beats with huge love that I can share with others; and
- Happy that I am alive and can make a difference to someone else.
I'm sure that if I really thought about it, the happy list would be much longer but I think you get the point. What are YOU going to be happy about today? Let's all make a promise to ourselves to live today as if it's our last, love fully and completely and not miss out on a single thing that life has to offer us. After all, isn't that what we're here for?
For Tammy: Thank you for always being there for me. For believing in me. For answering my countless questions. For giving me the support I needed and for pushing me harder when I needed that. I will be forever grateful for all you did for me. I miss you and can't wait until you come to visit. I'll be waiting.